Yesterday, taking time off from the truck, I did my usual Tuesday stint as volunteer On-Train-Guide on the 0950 from Settle / 1155 from Carlisle. There was a coach party on the northbound train with reserved seats. I gave them a commentary as it the norm on the S&C - possibly the only main line trains in the UK where you can get such a service. We, the volunteers, aim to cover six trains a day. Most people appreciate our efforts, which usually end with a round of applause, as was the case yesterday.
I always take the trouble to find out where the coach party is from and yesterday's was from Staffordshire - and a very appreciative group they were too. I try to personalise my commentary to the group by referring to their part of the world. One of my standard 'funnies' is to select a large town or city in the visitors' area and to say "For those people from Luton / Birmingham / Newcastle etc. those fluffy round things in the fields out there are called sheep". This invariably results in howls of laughter but I go on to describe the awful events of 2001 when Upper Ribblesdale was badly affected by foot and mouth disease, resulting in the wholesale slaughter of the sheep, now re-populated.
As I was helping yesterday's group of mainly elderly people off the train one lady, fire in her eyes, collared me. "What's wrung with Stawk-on-Trint?" she demanded to know. She had not appreciated the joke. I apologised if I had given offence and said that I had actually been on holiday to Stoke -on-Trent, on a canal boat. She did not seem appeased.
See Trip Advisor and Knowhere for reviews of Stoke-on-Trent
If you have a very strong stomach see:
http://www.knowhere.co.uk/stoke_-_on_-_trent/staffordshire/midlands/info/worstthings
You can't win them all.
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